"What do u mean by my RAM is low?" asked Titi, who was visibly shaken. Tade looked bewildered but nevertheless laughed on thinking it was all part of the joke. He had only made a seemingly casual remark about Titi's brain because she didn't get something earlier on but Titi didn't find it funny and was taking it really P.
On hearing Titi's high pitched voice, Hashim the exchange programme student from Utrecht University sought to make peace. "What happened Titi?" asked Hashim in his thick arabic accent, she ignored him and kept shouting at Tade and telling everyone who cared to listen that she was assaulted verbally and its all cos shez a woman bla bla bla..........PAUSE HERE......
Now let's judge this issue fairly,objectively and squarely! Who is wrong and who is right? Does Titi have a right to take dis issue so P? Can't Tade just make a joke out of something? To what extent does Titi's reaction have an effect on her psychological and physiological well being?
Honestly ehn, on a very good day I wee tell u that deze are questions for the gods,bt for the sake of this discourse I'd oblige and answer them as truthfully as possible.
In my own opinion,I tink right and wrong is relative (incase u dnt undastnd grammar) this means that being right or wrong depends on the angle to which you look at it. I wouldn't condemn any of them for their actions or inactions but I have to say........ they are both mad!!! Tade is mad for pulling such a stunt on a girl (they are darn to touchy) and Titi is mad for taking the issue so personal (is her RAM not slow ni).
For Titi to take this P I tink derz something wrong with her,its jus a freaking joke. Dnt knw why we Nigerians find it hard to see the humour in things ( ppl r always so tense). Naturally negros are ready to bite and fight you jus cos u made them the butt of your jokes meanwhile some caucasian wudnt even give a hoot.
Back to Tade, I think he should keep it up (I mean the humour) but he should be careful when deploying his verbal arsenal so as not to hurt peoples feelings or better still undermine them......u knw, not everyone can actually take a joke.
In reality, the fastest way to the grave is not by stealing a Dell Vostro in Aluu community or by taking a lit candle to check the fuel level in ur generator....NO!!!......its by taking things P. Most people that fail to see the joke in life are victims of high blood pressure,nervous breakdowns,depression,low self esteem,mental imbalance among many other unmentionable challenges that plague active pressers of the CNTRL P button.
The point of all deze many yarns is jus to let y'all know that this our "gigigigigigigi" as my friend Mark wud say is too much,we nid to relax from time to time. Jus cos someone made fun of u dsnt mean u shud press P or go bck into u shell sayin "its familiarity that brought contempt"...NO.... U cn also make fun of d person and everyone laughs about it. No hard feelings. Btw u cnt even go about carrying what every1 sed to u except u wanna die soo like d voice in Mortal Kombat....."choose ur destiny".
Once again black Jesus advices y'all and says "throw caution into the wind and have a gud time,everytime". Remember the bible says in Proverbs 17:22 A cheerful disposition is good for your health; Gloom and Doom would leave you tired. (MSG)
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Saturday, November 17, 2012
S.O.S
Dis particular one is not only funny bt also very painful. Have you ever spoken to someone dt u jus had 2 say 2 ursef "this person is rily MOUTHED o"? lol How on earth wud sm1s mouth be smelling so badly?............Some smell like spoilt plantain peel, odas av dt stink like a child's anus...Gosh....d sad tin z we cnt help bt communicate (and dis z wht we face daily). Choi!!!
Last Monday,a lady walked into my office asking to see my boss. From the 1st word she uttered,I almost collapsed. Her mouth bin dey oooze like crayy mehn. Sadly,she was so confident of herself (let me believe she forgot to brush dt morning) cos sm1s mouth cnt b oozing like dat on a constant. Nywyz u cn bet,I answered her shabbily and hurriedly of course (abi u wan give me SARS ni).....nd dts hw such a nicely dressed and well composed person got a near-nasty treatment 4rm me.
If u tink dt 1 dsnt hit it,y dnt u try talking to a stranger insyd "Danfo"....shiiiiiiiii......dt wud be ur last. No matter what mehn,I AVOID unnecessary convos wit ppl in the bus (u dnt knw who is who o). loooool, asides "kud u pls adjust" or "abeg dress",wich eva d case is....I always keep mum,no matter what the issue is in the bus. Its nt dt I dnt wanna talk or I dnt knw wht to say,I jus dnt wanna perceive any1s bad breathe. #shikena
The condition of ur bucal cavity odawise knwn as mouth in english, "la bouche" in French,determines how people react to your words and ur personality.
Do u wonder why sme ppl jus smile wen u say "hello"? Or why sm1 who doesn't knw u is jst hostile jus bcos u r asking 4 directions? Or ur bf/gf refused to kiss you d last time? Or every1 is suddenly keeping malice with you? Even strangers lol
Black Jesus says........"Do something about ur mouth abeg".
Game Plan 1) Brush ur mouth thoroughly at least 1ce a day (dentists recommend 2ce tho,bt no tym).
2)Drink lots of water during the day especially as soon as you rise in d morning nd wen u r goin 2bed at nyt. Water has d healing power u nid.
3) Avoid long silences (ur mouth go GBA 4 shizzle). No matter whr u find ursef,dnt b quiet 4 too long....an old frend of mine used to say "if person dey too quiet,him mouth must to dey ooze". In oda words,ppl dt engage in verbal communication often have a lesser tendency to av mouth odour.
4) Minty gums nd sweets are ur frend. No matter the condition of ur pocket,derz always smfin 4u ie TomTom/Baba blue or Mentos or Pectol. Jus av sme in ur pocket or bag cos twud surely cme in handy.
5) Finally,watch what u eat yo....dnt cme walking into sm1s office jus afta u ate bread and sardine 4 breakfast nd u expect d person to treat u well....NO!!!....avoid avin meals that have lingering smells during the day. Twud save u d embarrassment of being labelled "The Guy/Girl with the Smelly mouth".
Black Jesus reminds us all dt we nid 2 fulfil scriptures. The bible says, "He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his own life bt he dt opens wide his lips shall have destruction"- Proverbs 13:3 (KJV)
Therefore, KEEP (Clean) ur mouth today and also do not OPEN ur mouth WIDE if d tin dey smell, or else YOU WILL BE DESTROYED ( I ddnt say it,scriptures did lol). See y'all!
Last Monday,a lady walked into my office asking to see my boss. From the 1st word she uttered,I almost collapsed. Her mouth bin dey oooze like crayy mehn. Sadly,she was so confident of herself (let me believe she forgot to brush dt morning) cos sm1s mouth cnt b oozing like dat on a constant. Nywyz u cn bet,I answered her shabbily and hurriedly of course (abi u wan give me SARS ni).....nd dts hw such a nicely dressed and well composed person got a near-nasty treatment 4rm me.
If u tink dt 1 dsnt hit it,y dnt u try talking to a stranger insyd "Danfo"....shiiiiiiiii......dt wud be ur last. No matter what mehn,I AVOID unnecessary convos wit ppl in the bus (u dnt knw who is who o). loooool, asides "kud u pls adjust" or "abeg dress",wich eva d case is....I always keep mum,no matter what the issue is in the bus. Its nt dt I dnt wanna talk or I dnt knw wht to say,I jus dnt wanna perceive any1s bad breathe. #shikena
The condition of ur bucal cavity odawise knwn as mouth in english, "la bouche" in French,determines how people react to your words and ur personality.
Do u wonder why sme ppl jus smile wen u say "hello"? Or why sm1 who doesn't knw u is jst hostile jus bcos u r asking 4 directions? Or ur bf/gf refused to kiss you d last time? Or every1 is suddenly keeping malice with you? Even strangers lol
Black Jesus says........"Do something about ur mouth abeg".
Game Plan 1) Brush ur mouth thoroughly at least 1ce a day (dentists recommend 2ce tho,bt no tym).
2)Drink lots of water during the day especially as soon as you rise in d morning nd wen u r goin 2bed at nyt. Water has d healing power u nid.
3) Avoid long silences (ur mouth go GBA 4 shizzle). No matter whr u find ursef,dnt b quiet 4 too long....an old frend of mine used to say "if person dey too quiet,him mouth must to dey ooze". In oda words,ppl dt engage in verbal communication often have a lesser tendency to av mouth odour.
4) Minty gums nd sweets are ur frend. No matter the condition of ur pocket,derz always smfin 4u ie TomTom/Baba blue or Mentos or Pectol. Jus av sme in ur pocket or bag cos twud surely cme in handy.
5) Finally,watch what u eat yo....dnt cme walking into sm1s office jus afta u ate bread and sardine 4 breakfast nd u expect d person to treat u well....NO!!!....avoid avin meals that have lingering smells during the day. Twud save u d embarrassment of being labelled "The Guy/Girl with the Smelly mouth".
Black Jesus reminds us all dt we nid 2 fulfil scriptures. The bible says, "He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his own life bt he dt opens wide his lips shall have destruction"- Proverbs 13:3 (KJV)
Therefore, KEEP (Clean) ur mouth today and also do not OPEN ur mouth WIDE if d tin dey smell, or else YOU WILL BE DESTROYED ( I ddnt say it,scriptures did lol). See y'all!
Thursday, November 15, 2012
National Tatafo
I don tire sef....ahn ahn...hw ppl go like tatafo reach dis level dt it wud bcme a national issue? :O infact d tin surprise me sotay I vex go do jumat for Ikorodu road.
To nack apako 4 d nail head, dis issue of we Nigerians famzing every international issue esp wen it has 2do wit America is "sadonic" and even "lugubrious" ( I have scattered sme ppls head wit grammar) No be me start am o,goan hold Hon Pat Obahiagbon lol.
Nywyz d issue here lies solely on d fact dt we Nigerians too dey famz....kai!!! Oyinbo naturally dey famz ie on twitter nw, I see many Caucasians famzing @PiersMorgan or @JustinBeiber....at least we cn undastnd dt deze folks r influential in a way or mayb dem dey trip 4dem. Bt in Nigeria's case,na strange tins we dey famz,9ja ppl be famzing Hurricane.....SMH....
Lemme gve u an example,sm1s pm or tweet kud go like dis ---> "Hurricane Sandy hits Miami Beach at 175Km/ph",d 1st tin dt comes to my mind is "oya wetin make we do abt am now?" Sun don knack man pikin 4head,okada no dey,fuel dey stealth mode,salary no do man 4 d mnth nd u r here telling me abt hurricane.
Not dt I'm insensitive to d impact of d hurricane nd d lives affected,I jus wnt us to mind our own business cos in my own opinion,we have greater problems as a nation and no1 z sympathising wit us (so y we come dey drink panadol 4 anoda man's headache?).
Anoda dimension to it, is the level at wich Nigerians discuss intelligently in issues dt dnt concern us. Kai dis 1 z vry bad o,u wee see sm1 dt dsnt av common O'Level sayin tins dt me sef (an international relations graduate) neva hear abt America b4. Its baffling mehn, person go dey para like say Obama na him in-law...it is well.
Its d decidin nyt on Obama Vs Romney nd I cnt help but shake my head in utter disbelief as I see our young people carry on in d stead of our parents (ie putting d cart before d bull). Incase u dnt knw dis idiomatic expression,t means doing d wrong tin first. Tell me! Is it Obama Vs Romney dt shud b our concern? Or d state of our ailing nation? Sadly,deze "familiar spirits" av nt only put dps and pms abt Obama nd his Victory,some went as far as sending BCs.....Gosh......I wz so angry (bt wetin man fit do?) Its our nature (our Nigerianism)
D worst tin z dt in sme circles,ts a sign of sophistication to dabble into issues dt dnt concern us (eg American issues) when our very own lies fallow. Let's face our problems nd stop famzin oda ppls own abeg.
Before any1 starts labelling me,I'd love to point out d fact that majority of us (Nigerians), always put our mouth in issues dt dnt concern us nd dis kud b seen in petty issues such as an argument btw a bus conductor and a passenger. And in more serious cases,our foreign policy eg Nigeria z gvin electricity to neighbouring African countries nd we neva do get light,imagine such?
I guess,its safe to say "poke-nosing" is a Nigerian thing.....abi u no get my grammar?
Game Plan: Let's try 2ensure we set our priorities right and face issues dt affect us as against tryin 2 put mouth in anoda persons yarn...if we kud mind our bizness,I believe tins wud b beta 4us.
Nywyz d issue here lies solely on d fact dt we Nigerians too dey famz....kai!!! Oyinbo naturally dey famz ie on twitter nw, I see many Caucasians famzing @PiersMorgan or @JustinBeiber....at least we cn undastnd dt deze folks r influential in a way or mayb dem dey trip 4dem. Bt in Nigeria's case,na strange tins we dey famz,9ja ppl be famzing Hurricane.....SMH....
Lemme gve u an example,sm1s pm or tweet kud go like dis ---> "Hurricane Sandy hits Miami Beach at 175Km/ph",d 1st tin dt comes to my mind is "oya wetin make we do abt am now?" Sun don knack man pikin 4head,okada no dey,fuel dey stealth mode,salary no do man 4 d mnth nd u r here telling me abt hurricane.
Not dt I'm insensitive to d impact of d hurricane nd d lives affected,I jus wnt us to mind our own business cos in my own opinion,we have greater problems as a nation and no1 z sympathising wit us (so y we come dey drink panadol 4 anoda man's headache?).
Anoda dimension to it, is the level at wich Nigerians discuss intelligently in issues dt dnt concern us. Kai dis 1 z vry bad o,u wee see sm1 dt dsnt av common O'Level sayin tins dt me sef (an international relations graduate) neva hear abt America b4. Its baffling mehn, person go dey para like say Obama na him in-law...it is well.
Its d decidin nyt on Obama Vs Romney nd I cnt help but shake my head in utter disbelief as I see our young people carry on in d stead of our parents (ie putting d cart before d bull). Incase u dnt knw dis idiomatic expression,t means doing d wrong tin first. Tell me! Is it Obama Vs Romney dt shud b our concern? Or d state of our ailing nation? Sadly,deze "familiar spirits" av nt only put dps and pms abt Obama nd his Victory,some went as far as sending BCs.....Gosh......I wz so angry (bt wetin man fit do?) Its our nature (our Nigerianism)
D worst tin z dt in sme circles,ts a sign of sophistication to dabble into issues dt dnt concern us (eg American issues) when our very own lies fallow. Let's face our problems nd stop famzin oda ppls own abeg.
Before any1 starts labelling me,I'd love to point out d fact that majority of us (Nigerians), always put our mouth in issues dt dnt concern us nd dis kud b seen in petty issues such as an argument btw a bus conductor and a passenger. And in more serious cases,our foreign policy eg Nigeria z gvin electricity to neighbouring African countries nd we neva do get light,imagine such?
I guess,its safe to say "poke-nosing" is a Nigerian thing.....abi u no get my grammar?
Game Plan: Let's try 2ensure we set our priorities right and face issues dt affect us as against tryin 2 put mouth in anoda persons yarn...if we kud mind our bizness,I believe tins wud b beta 4us.
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