The Plague

My name is Netochukwu and I'm a graduate of business administration from a prestigious university in Nigeria (Name Withheld). Despite graduating the top of my class a few years back, I'm still unable to secure a good job.

I recently became tired of begging favours from distant relatives and near total strangers, so I decided to take up any job with any company willing to hire. In no time I got a job as a factory hand and I was appointed a supervisor because I had a degree. Not that the pay was much higher than the other illiterate factory hands but it gave me my dignity even though I was not where I was supposed to be.

After a back breaking day at the factory, I collapsed on my bed and in no time I was snoring (an action I always deny doing). I had a rather bizarre dream that night, I don't think it was influenced by the thoughts i took to bed. I also don't believe its a revelation from the supreme being, I would rather say the universe just felt like messing with me. Nevertheless, the dream goes thus:

I saw that all the Nigerian inhabitants were relocated to the USA and all the American inhabitants were relocated to Nigeria in a split second after the rush of a mighty wind. The infrastructure, resources and weather remained the same; in fact nothing changed except the absolute exodus of people from both countries to one another's countries.

There was endless pomp and pageantry among the Nigerians (who now lived in USA, drove American cars, ate American food etc.). On the other hand, the Americans sulked for a while before getting to work seeing that their new surrounding was not conducive.

Shortly after, I saw a Nigerian man urinate in front of the magnificent Trump Towers in Manhattan, another lady cleaned her fish and threw the residue out of her window, a child crossed the ever busy Washington boulevard without a chaperon  two youngsters beat the metro's metering system and a top politician promised to give each Nigerian an android device simply because they now sat on the largest oil reserves in the world.

The Americans (who now domiciled in Nigeria) were more concerned with changing their environment, one which they tagged as inhabitable. Nothing worked, the systems were outdated, the resources were untapped, infrastructure was dilapidated and the weather didn't even help matters. Rather than dwelling on what was non- existent, they sought to make Nigeria "habitable" and in no time, Nigeria looked like the US.

In the same vein, the Nigerians had turned the former haven to a slum. Everything previously in existence  collapsed before my very eyes and everybody went around doing their own thing. Soon Nigerians flooded the embassy clamouring for Visas to return to the American occupied Nigeria. I was in shock!

It became obvious that our geographical location or weather was not the problem but the people. A large percentage of Nigerians are lawless, have poor maintenance culture, poor work ethics, an inane  desire to dole out largesse to undeserving beneficiaries among many other sickening flaws.

That moment, a mosquito bit me on my jugular vein which of course left me hissing in pain. I still didn't forget the dream.