After much grovelling and appeasing, my aunt finally gave me a piece of 'obodo oyinbo' even though I had to earn it by driving her all around Lagos for sometime. $100 wasn't exactly much but my basic needs were spoken for in an instant. Permutations and combinations started going on in my head from the second that Benjamin faced green bill touched my anxious palms.
I could have waited till Monday before converting the money at the close of work but I eagerly headed to Yaba despite the scorching sun. For the first time in a long time I boarded a 'keke Napep' for a proximate distance; to be honest I was feeling really emancipated from the pangs of lack.
With inflation galloping, too much money was chasing too few goods, the cost of living was sky-rocketing and the standard of living subsequently spiralled. One didn't need a dibia to 'see' that the economy was in a bad shape. I wasn't immune to the 'national situation', even my parents felt the heat; no wonder $100 meant a lot to me at that point.
In less than a minute I was at Yaba, carefully scouting the area for any slender figure clad in jalamia holding a calculator. My eyes were still roving when I heard a voice from behind, "oga pounds, dollars, euros, yen?". It was like I heard the voice of God, I could smell the mint notes in his pocket already.
I was already in the future, I could see myself eating barbeque and noodles, watching a 3D movie in the cinema with my girl, paying for my BIS and even paying for things the money couldn't cover. Its a little disturbing that I couldn't think of saving some or paying my tithe. Nigeria was gradually changing my financial orientation, these days i eat with all my fingers; but what could I possibly do?
The voice asked me, "You wan buy abi you wan sell?", I replied "I wan sell, Dollars how much?". The mallam asked how much I wanted to sell even though I already asked for his rate; I should have been more alert. After divulging the information, he punched his calculator and offered me a meager N155 per dollar. I was in shock, the app on my phone as at this morning showed that the dollar recently rose against the naira $1=N161.
"Wonders shall never end", I said to myself as I exclaimed. After much haggling we settled for N161 per dollar and by the calculations, I should have N16,100 cash by the end of the transaction. After counting, he gave some money to the tune of N15,500; I told him it was short N600 and he told me he didn't have change. I was beginning to get impatient so I threatened to get another mallam. He spoke his native dialect to his colleague and gave me the N200 he collected from him saying that was all the change he could find, appealing that I gave them the rest to break their fast.
Innocently i believed his tall tale and resorted to tipping him. We exchanged currencies and i left. On getting home I discovered that my $100 fetched me N15,700 instead of N16,100 implying that I changed at N157 per dollar. The mallam played a fast one on me, he cleverly made me change at a much lower rate than agreed; I felt cheated.
The deed was already done, even if I returned to Yaba I couldn't recall what he looked like, so why bother? Instead I thought to share tips with you on how to conduct yourselves when you choose the more prudent option of the black market.
1. Never divulge the exact amount you want to change. Simply say its a lot or its little. Always let the mallam make you a first offer.
2. Never tolerate third parties in the name of friends or 'brothers'. Speak to one person at a time.
3. When a rate has been agreed on, ensure you count the money and be satisfied before you hand over the forex. Otherwise return the money disregarding their pleas in the name of God.
4. Always calculate the money yourself too. Its easy, multiply the agreed rate by the value of forex you intend to change, you would have the value in Naira. To be sure you're not being cheated, divide the value of naira given to you by the value of forex you want to change, you would have the exchange rate the mallam is using for you indirectly.
5. Double count the money to be sure its still intact then put it in your bag or pocket before you hand them the forex.
6. Turn your back and walk away making the least contact possible with the mallam or his 'brothers'.
7. Count the money privately again to be sure of the amount changed.
I believe these tips would help you. Thanks for reading.
I could have waited till Monday before converting the money at the close of work but I eagerly headed to Yaba despite the scorching sun. For the first time in a long time I boarded a 'keke Napep' for a proximate distance; to be honest I was feeling really emancipated from the pangs of lack.
With inflation galloping, too much money was chasing too few goods, the cost of living was sky-rocketing and the standard of living subsequently spiralled. One didn't need a dibia to 'see' that the economy was in a bad shape. I wasn't immune to the 'national situation', even my parents felt the heat; no wonder $100 meant a lot to me at that point.
In less than a minute I was at Yaba, carefully scouting the area for any slender figure clad in jalamia holding a calculator. My eyes were still roving when I heard a voice from behind, "oga pounds, dollars, euros, yen?". It was like I heard the voice of God, I could smell the mint notes in his pocket already.
I was already in the future, I could see myself eating barbeque and noodles, watching a 3D movie in the cinema with my girl, paying for my BIS and even paying for things the money couldn't cover. Its a little disturbing that I couldn't think of saving some or paying my tithe. Nigeria was gradually changing my financial orientation, these days i eat with all my fingers; but what could I possibly do?
The voice asked me, "You wan buy abi you wan sell?", I replied "I wan sell, Dollars how much?". The mallam asked how much I wanted to sell even though I already asked for his rate; I should have been more alert. After divulging the information, he punched his calculator and offered me a meager N155 per dollar. I was in shock, the app on my phone as at this morning showed that the dollar recently rose against the naira $1=N161.
"Wonders shall never end", I said to myself as I exclaimed. After much haggling we settled for N161 per dollar and by the calculations, I should have N16,100 cash by the end of the transaction. After counting, he gave some money to the tune of N15,500; I told him it was short N600 and he told me he didn't have change. I was beginning to get impatient so I threatened to get another mallam. He spoke his native dialect to his colleague and gave me the N200 he collected from him saying that was all the change he could find, appealing that I gave them the rest to break their fast.
Innocently i believed his tall tale and resorted to tipping him. We exchanged currencies and i left. On getting home I discovered that my $100 fetched me N15,700 instead of N16,100 implying that I changed at N157 per dollar. The mallam played a fast one on me, he cleverly made me change at a much lower rate than agreed; I felt cheated.
The deed was already done, even if I returned to Yaba I couldn't recall what he looked like, so why bother? Instead I thought to share tips with you on how to conduct yourselves when you choose the more prudent option of the black market.
1. Never divulge the exact amount you want to change. Simply say its a lot or its little. Always let the mallam make you a first offer.
2. Never tolerate third parties in the name of friends or 'brothers'. Speak to one person at a time.
3. When a rate has been agreed on, ensure you count the money and be satisfied before you hand over the forex. Otherwise return the money disregarding their pleas in the name of God.
4. Always calculate the money yourself too. Its easy, multiply the agreed rate by the value of forex you intend to change, you would have the value in Naira. To be sure you're not being cheated, divide the value of naira given to you by the value of forex you want to change, you would have the exchange rate the mallam is using for you indirectly.
5. Double count the money to be sure its still intact then put it in your bag or pocket before you hand them the forex.
6. Turn your back and walk away making the least contact possible with the mallam or his 'brothers'.
7. Count the money privately again to be sure of the amount changed.
I believe these tips would help you. Thanks for reading.
Sweetly written story. I hope its not a cool story tho. *rme*
ReplyDeleteI wish I cud relate to this event. Well written story. Mphile.
ReplyDeleteBJ has done it again. This post is really helpful, especially since forex is a veritable means of investment in the country. In financial transactions we usually overlook being shortchanged by N1, or N2. But little drops of water make a mighty ocean. As BJ has written, it always helps to set a target before the actual transaction, and stick to it. That way, we won't be cheated.
ReplyDeleteLovely.
ReplyDeleteNice write up niccur.
ReplyDeleteAboki try to cheat me? He dead, that's y I always move wiv my silver piece *winks*