My mum opened the cooler of poundo-yam and exclaimed in horror, "Goodness gracious.......is this poundo-yam or tapioca?" She shook her head in utter disbelief as she opened the pot of fish stew; her already squeezed face suddenly had that smirk that made me worried. "Mummy kilo de?", I questioned with insecurity written all over my face. I knew I prepared what some people call food of life but I was yet hopeful that it wouldn't taste as bad as it looked.
A few seconds later, my mum burst out in laughter; she laughed uncontrollably for roughly 2mins before she could be comforted; tears rolled down her cheeks as she found her way to the kitchen door. "Sho fe pami iwo omo yiii? Why r u wasting my food? Things are more expensive these days o", she scolded playfully. I could tell she didn't mind that I experimented with her food stuff and I was grateful for that. The worrying thing was that she wouldn't stop laughing at my food; I worked hard for hours to make this happen.
"Ladipo....Ladi...Abayomi....Yooooomi.... abi who is there?", she called out frantically to my brothers in a bid to share her laughter with someone. Like lightening, the imps that complete "The Omokolade triplets" appeared at the scene of the atrocity. "Yes mummy", they chorused; I could see a familiar over-zealous look on their faces.....I knew they were up to something. This was a nightmare for me; my brothers were so ruthless, they had mouths filthier than a Nigerian sewer.
Ladi quickly opened the pot of stew and jumped back yelling "ah, therz death in the pot". Laff wan kill am die; even the most mentally stable one Yomi, laughed loudly in the background as he passed scathing remarks about the fruit of my labour. In a fit of rage, I hurled an onion bulb wildly; sadly it hit and sent my 3-year old nephew sprawling to the ground. It was unfortunate that he wandered into the kitchen at that time. I couldn't even be bothered, I just wanted this cup to pass.
I know I was just experimenting with food; "no one's first meal turns out perfect", I consoled myself. Deep down, I could tell where it all went wrong. I remember preparing the poundo-yam like custard (pouring d powder and some water into the pot and adding boiled water thereafter without continued heating).....No wonder the thing turned out with a million and one KOKOs. The stew was just the height, I forgot to clean the fish i.e. remove the scales, fins, gills and bile.(Your boy just cut the fish up and boiled with a dose of every seasoning/ingredient on the shelf)....let us just say I made rubbish.
I could hear my mum's voice over the phone, she already called my aunty in London just to have a good laugh about my attempted lunch. Her voice grew louder each time she recounted the story to my aunty. I just stayed in the kitchen looking sad as I stared at my supposed food of life with disgust. Maybe cooking isn't my thing....afterall I love to eat, I convinced myself. Maybe that is my strong point, I mumbled on.
Funny enough everyone in my family still taunted me about my "food of life" up until last week; then I silenced the critics by making a real "lunch of destiny". You wouldn't believe my ailing grandpa wanted extras. Every single person that ate at that table licked their fingers with gusto and wiped their plates clean.....like CR7 celebrated his goal against Barça in the Copa Del Ray victory, I stood head up and walked tall as my extended family hung their heads in shame.
Compliments came from every quarter even though they were done grudgingly, the way they were humbled by my newly found culinary genius appeased me......I was so glad eh ^.^ From that day, I learnt a thing or two....maybe three.
- Not getting something right is the best way to learn how not to go about it.
- The best form of revenge is success.
- The best thing to do when you are accused of incompetence is to work on knowing your onions.
#Jah Bless
A few seconds later, my mum burst out in laughter; she laughed uncontrollably for roughly 2mins before she could be comforted; tears rolled down her cheeks as she found her way to the kitchen door. "Sho fe pami iwo omo yiii? Why r u wasting my food? Things are more expensive these days o", she scolded playfully. I could tell she didn't mind that I experimented with her food stuff and I was grateful for that. The worrying thing was that she wouldn't stop laughing at my food; I worked hard for hours to make this happen.
"Ladipo....Ladi...Abayomi....Yooooomi.... abi who is there?", she called out frantically to my brothers in a bid to share her laughter with someone. Like lightening, the imps that complete "The Omokolade triplets" appeared at the scene of the atrocity. "Yes mummy", they chorused; I could see a familiar over-zealous look on their faces.....I knew they were up to something. This was a nightmare for me; my brothers were so ruthless, they had mouths filthier than a Nigerian sewer.
Ladi quickly opened the pot of stew and jumped back yelling "ah, therz death in the pot". Laff wan kill am die; even the most mentally stable one Yomi, laughed loudly in the background as he passed scathing remarks about the fruit of my labour. In a fit of rage, I hurled an onion bulb wildly; sadly it hit and sent my 3-year old nephew sprawling to the ground. It was unfortunate that he wandered into the kitchen at that time. I couldn't even be bothered, I just wanted this cup to pass.
I know I was just experimenting with food; "no one's first meal turns out perfect", I consoled myself. Deep down, I could tell where it all went wrong. I remember preparing the poundo-yam like custard (pouring d powder and some water into the pot and adding boiled water thereafter without continued heating).....No wonder the thing turned out with a million and one KOKOs. The stew was just the height, I forgot to clean the fish i.e. remove the scales, fins, gills and bile.(Your boy just cut the fish up and boiled with a dose of every seasoning/ingredient on the shelf)....let us just say I made rubbish.
I could hear my mum's voice over the phone, she already called my aunty in London just to have a good laugh about my attempted lunch. Her voice grew louder each time she recounted the story to my aunty. I just stayed in the kitchen looking sad as I stared at my supposed food of life with disgust. Maybe cooking isn't my thing....afterall I love to eat, I convinced myself. Maybe that is my strong point, I mumbled on.
Funny enough everyone in my family still taunted me about my "food of life" up until last week; then I silenced the critics by making a real "lunch of destiny". You wouldn't believe my ailing grandpa wanted extras. Every single person that ate at that table licked their fingers with gusto and wiped their plates clean.....like CR7 celebrated his goal against Barça in the Copa Del Ray victory, I stood head up and walked tall as my extended family hung their heads in shame.
Compliments came from every quarter even though they were done grudgingly, the way they were humbled by my newly found culinary genius appeased me......I was so glad eh ^.^ From that day, I learnt a thing or two....maybe three.
- Not getting something right is the best way to learn how not to go about it.
- The best form of revenge is success.
- The best thing to do when you are accused of incompetence is to work on knowing your onions.
#Jah Bless
Great! Can't help laughing seriously wat a way to pass a vital message with humor.
ReplyDeleteExcellent piece.....pretty awesome...ive learnt sum'n here!
ReplyDeleteTop class material...everything doesn't have to be serious before a message is passed.
ReplyDelete